Am I too old / too bitchy/ too boring?
I am generally pretty happy with the way I look. I like my face, my skin color, the strength, length, shape of my body. But now that I am editing the footage that I took last year during our ten week road trip I am dealing with a bit of a reality check:
That I actually look exactly as old as I am. I look tired most of the time, like any other mother at the schoolyard. There is no denying it. And straight away I wonder if I should continue to make those videos. Who would want to watch a tired mother doing mother things just on a campsite instead of at home?
Am I a slut when I show the beauty of my body?
Ok this might sound like a stupid question, but for me it isn’t. This is the part where I am basically not that woke in the current feminism narrative, but I think I am getting there.
In today’s social media I see so many women ‘exploit’ their body for likes. Their sexuality is part of their business model. But apparently that is a feminist thing. As in ‘I own my sexuality’, I do with my body what I want and I get the theory of it but I still have trouble with letting go of what they used to tell me.